


Well, Why Not?

by ImperialKatwala



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: And gets some ideas, Animal Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Dadza, Gen, It isn't lingered on, Lest you forget Techno was an English major, Let Techno sleep 2k21, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Polar Bears - Freeform, Research, Service Animals, Techno gets to sleep, The voices get really bad for a bit there, This sounds so dark I promise it gets happy I promise, Video Game Mechanics, phil is worried
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialKatwala/pseuds/ImperialKatwala
Summary: When BadBoyHalo came to visit, Technoblade claimed to have an emotional support polar bear. Let's unpack that a little.Or: service animal Steve brainrot go brr
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson, Technoblade & Steve
Comments: 43
Kudos: 253





	1. The Cub

Most days, the voices in Techno's head were manageable. He could ignore them, focus on other things, and go about his day. Even when they got louder, having Phil around helped a lot, and (though he'd never admit it out loud) Ranboo helped occasionally too, even without knowing why Techno would stare off into the distance or his breathing would hitch or his grip on whatever he was holding got painfully tight for a moment. People just being there helped keep him grounded. Most days that was enough.

And then there were days like today.

Techno leaned heavily against a tree, gasping for breath, eyes squeezed shut against the agony of the _noise_ in his head.

_BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - BLOOD - DEATH - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD - KILL,_ the voices howled, hundreds of thousands of them, so many and so loud that it felt like Techno's skull was going to split open.

"Shut up," he hissed, but he could barely hear his own voice over the cacophony.

The voices only roared louder. _BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!_

Techno's hands were shaking. He had managed to get far enough away from the cottage that Phil and Ranboo wouldn't be in danger, even if he completely lost himself, but he still fought their demands. They didn't control him, he was his own person, he could choose not to hurt anyone if he didn't want to -

He heard the groan of a zombie behind him, and before he could blink, his sword was out of his inventory and the zombie's head was on the floor, disintegrating into a pile of rotten flesh.

_BLOOD,_ the voices screamed with glee, and when he heard the sound of more mobs starting to surround him, Techno stopped fighting it.

It was a dance, almost; cut, turn, _death,_ stab, _blood for the blood god,_ slash, step, _kill them all - blood,_ twist, _blood for the blood god - death - blood - kill._ There was just his sword and the blood and the overwhelming drive for more, more, _more._

He came back to himself a while later - several hours, judging by the position of the moon. His hands were coated in zombie blood and bone dust, he had an arrow wound in his side and a bite on his leg, and he was shaking from exertion. The voices were much quieter now, which was the only good thing about the whole situation.

Techno sighed and leaned back against a nearby tree, letting his sword drop into his inventory. He was so _tired._

There was a soft, grunting sort of whine from over a nearby hill.

It wasn't a sound Techno recognized, which automatically put him on high alert, despite the exhaustion. When it came again, he realized it wasn't a human sound; it had to be some kind of animal.

_Check it out - what's that? - go look - what is it?_ the voices hissed.

... The hill was on the way home, anyway. Techno wearily pushed away from the tree and trudged through the snow toward the noise.

It quickly became evident what was responsible for the sound. An adult polar bear lay on the ground, unmoving, covered in zombie bites and arrows that still sluggishly pulsed with Slowness. It was just barely starting to disintegrate in the way of dead things. Nudging its side, whining at it to get up, was a polar bear cub. It looked up in alarm when Techno came into view.

"You're not old enough to be on your own, are you?" Techno asked bleakly, his voice raspy. He'd probably been shouting.

The cub didn't respond, of course. It just blinked up at him, still wary.

"Sorry," he offered, though he knew it didn't mean anything. "Is it selfish to be glad it was mobs and not me?" A polar bear would probably have put up a lot more fight than a zombie, though; maybe it would have shut the voices up for longer.

Again, because it was an animal, there was no response. The cub just tilted its head to one side.

Techno sighed. "And now I'm talkin' to a bear like it can understand me. Great."

The voices cackled and gleefully told him he was going crazy.

He was so tired. Techno didn't even bother walking back over to lean against a tree, he just sat down right there in the snow, exhaustion pulling him down like a physical weight.

Something cold and wet nudged his hand.

Techno jerked away on instinct, but it was just the cub, which had wandered away from its fallen protector and was now regarding Techno curiously. It leaned down to nose at his hand again, probably wondering about the blood.

"It's from zombies," Techno murmured, resigned to letting it do whatever. It was getting hard to keep his eyes open. "It doesn't taste good."

The cub nudged his hand a little more, then awkwardly headbutted his shoulder. _Up,_ it seemed to be saying.

He just wanted to sleep. He was so tired. How bad would it really be to fall asleep out here in the snow?

Another nudge, more insistent this time. _Up._

"Let me sleep," Techno sighed. He didn't want to move.

The cub huffed at him and shoved him so hard he almost fell over.

Techno didn't want to get up, but this cub wasn't going to take no for an answer. He groaned and staggered to his feet, feeling the burn of his wounds and tired muscles. Home. He just had to get home. Very slowly, he started to walk.

With a self-satisfied grunt, the cub followed him.

"I'm not your parent," Techno told it weakly, but of course it didn't listen. It didn't know any better. He was too tired to drive it off, anyway - he could get rid of it in the morning if it was a problem.

The walk back blurred into one long slog, just darkness and snow and exhaustion, and it was only the faint smell of smoke that forced Techno to register his surroundings again. He almost sobbed with relief when he saw the glow of the cottage in the distance; just a little further.

The cub seemed to pick up on his renewed energy, picking up the pace and pausing to look back at him when it got ahead of him. He was a little surprised it had bothered to follow him so far.

Finally, Techno stumbled up the steps and walked into the warmth of the cabin. His hands and face stung in the way that told him he had spent too long in the cold, and he managed to close the door and hang up his cloak before slumping to the floor in front of the fire.

The cub had gotten inside before he closed the door, and it wandered over to him, curling up against his side.

Techno was too tired to question it. He just laid down, resting his head on the cub like a pillow and finally letting himself fall asleep.

* * *

Phil knew the signs of a bad day. How Techno would stare off into space a little too long, grinding his teeth, how he would mutter to himself, and how he would throw himself into work as a distraction. So when Techno left the cottage an hour or so before sunset, Phil wasn't surprised. He was worried, of course, but Techno had been acting off all day. He had known it was coming.

The worry only kicked into full gear when Techno was gone for more than three hours. Usually, trips like this only took an hour or two; kill a few mobs, blow off some steam, come home. Even the worst one Phil had seen had only been two and a half hours.

The problem was, Techno would be long gone. He told Phil once, quietly, that when he left to placate the voices, he got as far away from people as he could. He was so, so careful to stay away from anyone he might hurt, to make sure the only things he killed were monsters. Which meant Phil had no idea where he was.

So he did the only thing he could do: stoke the fire and keep the shutters open, hoping the light would guide Techno home.

Eventually, Phil went to bed, still worried. He managed to fall asleep, but it was sparse and restless. He couldn't stop thinking of reasons why Techno would be taking so long, each worse than the last.

Then, finally, Phil woke to the sound of the front door latching. He waited for a minute or so, then crept out of bed and down to the main floor.

Techno was passed out in front of the fire, hair in tangles, covered in blood and snow. He hadn't even bothered taking off his boots. And... he was using a polar bear cub as a pillow. Phil wouldn't even have realized what it was if it hadn't looked up at him as he entered the room.

"Hey, mate," Phil whispered, crossing the room to one of Techno's potion chests and taking out a regen potion, a water bottle, and a healing potion. He carefully walked over and set them all on the floor next to Techno, trying not to disturb him or the cub.

As expected, Techno didn't even twitch. He looked absolutely exhausted. When he gave no reaction, the cub seemed to decide that Phil wasn't a threat, as it laid its head back down and closed its eyes.

Phil wanted so badly to wake Techno up to make sure he got cleaned up properly, treated his wounds, had a better mental state. But from the looks of things, he needed sleep more than all of that, so after a moment of hesitation, Phil decided to let him be. He added a golden apple and some golden carrots to the pile of supplies, draped a blanket over Techno, and went back upstairs.

In the morning, as soon as he was sure Techno was okay, he would ask about the polar bear.


	2. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything hurts. Canon bad. Have some polar bears.

Techno woke slowly.

The first thing that registered was that everything ached. His side and his leg stung, and the rest of his muscles were sore. That made sense, he reasoned, as memories of last night came back.

The second thing that registered was the fact that his face was buried in polar bear fur. The cub was still there, then; he had half expected it to be a figment of his exhausted imagination.

And the third thing that registered was the smell of food.

Techno opened his eyes and forced himself to sit up, stifling a groan.

"Welcome back." Phil was at the stove, making something in a pan that smelled amazing, and he gave Techno a quick glance and a smile before turning back to the food.

"What time is it?" Techno's throat was raw, and he coughed as soon as he finished his sentence.

_Technolate! - slept in - Dadza - technolate - afternoon - good morning,_ the voices informed him.

Phil gave him another glance, this one disapproving. "There's water and some potions next to you, drink them."

Techno obediently picked up the three bottles and downed all of them.

"It's after noon," Phil told him while he drank, scraping the food onto a plate. The voices were telling the truth, then. "You've been asleep for a while."

"Ugh," was Techno's eloquent response, picking up a nearby golden apple and taking a bite.

Phil crouched down next to him and handed him the plate. Hashbrowns and eggs. "Mate, you know I won't push, but is everything okay? You've never been gone that long before."

Techno gratefully accepted the plate, taking a moment to weigh how much he should say. "... They've been pretty bad recently. I've been ignorin' them. They weren't happy about that."

The voices hissed in agreement. _Don't ignore us - technomean - pay attention - blood for the blood god_

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

That was really all there was to say. Phil went back to the counter and made himself lunch, and Techno polished off the apple before starting to eat his 'breakfast.'

"... Can I ask about the bear?"

Techno blinked, then gently patted the cub's side. It was still sleeping. "Found it out in the woods. It followed me home."

Phil hummed thoughtfully.

For a moment, there was quiet. They ate their food, the fire crackled in the corner, and the cub's flank rose and fell as it breathed.

"... It probably saved me from a respawn," Techno admitted quietly. The admission tasted like ash in his mouth.

"It what?" Phil hissed, wings rustling in agitation.

Techno kept his gaze firmly on the floor. "I was tired, Phil."

"You were tired." Techno didn't have to look at him to register the barely restrained anger, a thin layer of it covering worry.

"Yeah." It was more an exhale than a word. "Everythin' hurt, and I was tired, and I was so far away, I just... didn't want to move. The bear didn't like that, I guess."

Phil hesitated, then sat down on the floor next to Techno. "What do you mean?"

Techno shrugged. "It kept nudgin' me until I got up, then followed me back."

"Huh."

_The bear's cute - Dadza - keep it - precious - don't bother - it likes you!_ the voices hummed.

"... I think I'm gonna name it," Techno decided, scratching the cub gently behind the ears.

Phil chuckled quietly. "Of course. What are you thinking?"

The voices began clamoring with name suggestions, and Techno listened for a moment before picking one he liked. "Steve."

"Very nice," Phil hummed, standing up and going back to his lunch. "Steve the polar bear. He could be an emotional support animal or something."

Techno grinned. "An emotional support polar bear."

"Why not?"

They both laughed a little at the idea, then went back to eating. Steve woke up soon after, and after a bit of trial and error, he happily ate the steak they gave him.

Eventually, Phil left to do some maintenance on their farms, and he insisted Techno stay inside to rest, so it was just Techno and Steve in the cottage.

Techno picked up a book and started reading, but the words didn't really register. He was too busy thinking.

The voices had been loud recently. He didn't want to bother Phil or Ranboo (he was too afraid he'd hurt them), but having someone nearby helped. Animals helped too, which is why he often went to feed the turtles or check on the bees or brush Carl when he needed a distraction. He was afraid that if something happened, neither of his friends would be able to restrain him or stop him, but something like a fully grown polar bear would be both bigger and stronger than he was.

An emotional support polar bear. Why not?

Where could he find information on service animals, though? L'manberg was gone, along with Ghostbur's library, and anyone who had been a part of the doomed country wouldn't be much use as a resource. That left him with two viable options. The one time he had talked to her after blowing up L'manberg, Niki had mentioned something about building a library, so maybe she had something. Unfortunately, with such a niche subject, he doubted she had anything helpful. The other option was Eret. As much as he hated the idea of going to a king for help, Eret had connections, and a penchant for preserving knowledge and history. Even if he didn't have anything that could help Techno, he would know who did.

He could deal with that later, though, Techno decided, turning a page in the book he was barely reading. Phil would want to keep an eye on him for a while and make sure he was doing alright, which was understandable. The potions had taken care of the pain, but he was still tired.

His communicator buzzed with a message from Phil.

[Ph1LzA]: _Remember to take a bath at some point, mate!_

Oh. Right. Techno had almost forgotten that he was still dirty. He sent back an affirmative, then gave Steve a quick scratch behind the ears before going off to look for a spare set of clothes.

* * *

By the next morning, Techno was feeling basically back to normal. Phil was still fussing over him, of course, but he was honestly feeling better now!

"C'mon, Phil, it's just a quick trip! There and back, I promise," Techno assured him.

Phil folded his arms and leveled a stern look at him. "Mm-hmm. And what exactly do you need from the Greater SMP lands that we don't have here?"

"... It's gonna sound stupid."

Phil just raised an eyebrow.

Techno sighed. "Remember that joke you made yesterday, about Steve bein' an emotional support bear? I've been thinkin', and... you know, it might actually help. But, uh, I don't know anythin' about service animals, so I need to find some books or somethin' on them."

"... Really?"

"Yeah."

Phil blinked, just staring at him for a moment, then grinned. "That sounds like a great idea, Tech. There and back, keep me posted if something comes up, and I won't make a fuss about you going."

That was... a lot easier than Techno was expecting. "You won't?"

"Mate." Phil suddenly seemed a lot more vulnerable, a lot more afraid. "If you think this will help you, I'm all for it."

There was a lot there, in Phil's words and tone and stance. A lot of emotion that Techno didn't think he had the mental capacity to unpack at the moment, so he just nodded. "Yeah, I think it will. It can't hurt, anyway."

The voices murmured in the back of his head. _Dadza - aww, he cares - Steve - dadza pog - YO a support animal??? - that's sweet_

"I'll keep an eye on Steve while you're gone," Phil offered while Techno pulled on his boots and cloak.

"Thanks. I shouldn't be too long, hopefully, but I'll let you know if that changes." Techno made sure he had his armor and weapons safely in his inventory - he planned to show up unarmed and unarmored to show he had no bad intentions, but he wasn't stupid - then headed out. Time to ask a king about a polar bear.

God his life was weird sometimes.


	3. Research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon continues to hurt me and I continue to write about polar bears in response

Techno had been in Eret's castle before. Not often, and the most recent time had just been to assassinate the newly-crowned King George, but still. He knew the building somewhat, he'd talked to Eret once or twice, he shouldn't feel intimidated by a stupid stone building. The fact that he hated asking anyone but close friends for help had nothing to do with anything, this was fine, he was fine. He definitely was just casing the castle before going in, he wasn't nervous at all.

_Just go in - lame - ERET POG BI ICON - gay castle - Technoscared, L,_ the voices told him.

"Shut up, I am not scared," he muttered.

_L - L - L,_ they chanted gleefully. _Go in - L_

Techno rolled his eyes, but started walking. Through the main gate, past the rainbow beacons, in the main entrance...

Eret was sitting on his throne in the throne room, just like he'd hoped. They straightened in surprise when they saw him enter. "Technoblade."

Techno held up his hands to show he was unarmed. "Yeah, I'm not here for violence."

"Then why are you here?" she asked, leaning forward slightly. "Last I checked, you don't get along with kings."

"Not usually, no, but I'm not comin' to talk to you because you're king. I need some... kinda niche information, and you're the only person who might know where I can find it," Techno explained.

Eret sat back and raised an eyebrow. "What sort of information?"

Techno hesitated. It was one thing to admit this to Phil, but another thing entirely to admit it to anyone else. "... Information about service animals."

"... Service animals?"

"Yeah."

Eret was quiet for a moment, processing that bit of information. Then he smiled, a small, knowing thing. "I think I might have something in my library, and I'll talk to some other people, see what I can find. Follow me." They swept off their throne - Techno may not be a fan of royalty, but he could appreciate style when he saw it - and led Techno down a corridor.

The corridor led them to a massive room, packed to the brim with bookshelves. The books were lined up neatly, some old, some new, all waiting to be read. Techno had to stifle the urge to pick one up and start reading immediately.

Eret swept past most of the shelves, slowing down as she neared the back of the library, starting to trail her fingers over the spines. He made a triumphant sound and pulled out two books, handing them to Techno with a grin. "These should be a good starting point. Feel free to borrow them, or stay here and read them; so long as you're not here to stab anyone, you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like."

"Thank you," Techno said quietly, ignoring the implications of that sentence in favor of examining the books he'd been given. One was about service animals in general - what they were, what sorts of tasks they could be trained to do - and one was more specifically about training. They seemed mostly geared toward dogs, but he could work with this.

_Steve - ooh, books - big library - E - those look useful,_ the voices noted.

Eret left the library to make some calls, and Techno settled in at a table in the corner for some research.

After a few minutes, he brought out a notebook and started taking notes. It became very obvious very quickly that for Steve to be a proper service animal, he would need to be taught to do specific tasks that could help Techno. He started scribbling a list of ideas based on the suggestions in the book: recognizing when Techno was getting overwhelmed, going to find Phil (he added "Ranboo?" to the list as well), keeping people away from Techno if things got really bad (better safe than sorry), and keeping Techno grounded. That would be a good start.

The voices seemed to agree; they had been weirdly quiet while Techno was reading, just some quiet suggestions or comments about service animals in general and Steve in particular. Strangely, given that he was actively trying to resist their influence, they seemed on board with this idea. Maybe they'd latched onto Steve like they'd latched onto Carl, Techno reasoned, and they were willing to deal with less blood in exchange for more Steve.

Footsteps.

"Techno?" Eret came into view around a bookshelf, another book in hand. They set it down on the table next to him with a smile. "Callahan had this lying around. It's more about disability accommodations in general, but there's a chapter on service animals, so he thought it might be useful."

Techno nodded a thank you, then dove right back into reading.

A message from Phil was the next thing to pull him out of the book he was studying.

[Ph1LzA]: _Just checking in, mate! How's it going?_

Techno glanced at the time; he'd been reading for several hours.

[Technoblade]: _I found some books that might be useful_

[Ph1LzA]: _Are you planning to stay and keep reading, or are you coming back soon?_

[Technoblade]: _I should probably head back_

[Technoblade]: _don't want to overstay my welcome_

[Ph1LzA]: _See you soon then!_

Techno quickly packed up his notes and the three books, then left the library looking for Eret.

He found her out by the fountain in the courtyard, messaging someone on her communicator. They looked up when they heard Techno approach. "Heading out?"

"Yeah. I'll get the books back to you once I'm done with them," Techno promised.

Eret waved a hand, dismissing the issue. "Don't worry about it, keep them as long as you need to."

Techno nodded, leaving the courtyard with a muttered "Thank you again."

_Techno's awkward,_ the voices laughed. _L - social anxiety go brr - Eret's nice_

"Shut up, we're gonna see Steve and Phil, focus on that," Techno grumbled as he left the castle.

They did, immediately, happily chanting _Steve_ and a dozen variants of Phil's name. It was shockingly easy to distract the voices when they weren't screaming for blood, particularly when it came to people and animals they liked.

The journey through the Nether back to his little cottage in the snow was quick, as usual, and he navigated mostly on muscle memory. It was only a few minutes before he left the portal he and Phil had repaired, and the trident-Ender pearl trick made Overworld travel fast as well.

Phil, who was sitting on the floor sorting through chests, looked up and grinned as Techno walked in the door. "Hey, mate!"

"Hey, Phil," Techno greeted him, tapping the snow off of his boots. "How was bear-sittin'?"

"Oh, Steve and I had a great day, didn't we, Steve?" Phil chuckled. The cub, sprawled on the floor next to him, lifted his head at his name. Phil patted his head and he huffed happily.

Techno couldn't stifle a small smile as he took off his boots and hung up his cloak. "Good. I found some interestin' stuff, I think we can actually make this work."

Phil closed the chest and turned to fully face Techno. "What did you find?"

"Okay, so a service animal is one that's trained to do specific tasks," Techno started, sitting down cross-legged on the floor and taking out his notebook. "I had some ideas about things we can train Steve to do, and we can always add more later, you know, this is just a startin' point. Steve seems pretty calm and really smart, so he can probably pick up on more complicated stuff, that'll help a lot."

Phil listened carefully as Techno went through all of his notes, asking questions and making suggestions. At one point, Steve turned to put his head in Techno's lap, and Techno absently scratched him behind the ears as he talked. By the end of it, they had a tentative plan.

"So we focus on recognizin' signs of the voices first," Techno summarized, circling that point on his list of ideas. "Once he can do that, we teach him how to respond."

"And we also teach him verbal cues, so you can just tell him if you think they're getting too loud," Phil reminded him gently.

Techno nodded. "Right."

Phil's smile was knowing. "Which means you need to get used to vocalizing when you're having trouble."

"... Right."

"Hey, the point of this is to help you, right? Steve can't help if he doesn't know anything's wrong." Phil paused for a moment, thinking, then added "Neither can Ranboo and I, for that matter."

Techno kept his gaze firmly on Steve's fur. "I know. It's just... It's hard."

"Yeah, I know, mate. We can work on it."

And that was the great thing about Phil: he really did know. Sometimes it felt like he knew Techno better than he knew himself, which would have been disconcerting if it was anyone but Phil. As it was, it was usually just a relief.

Phil stood and offered Techno a hand, smiling. "C'mon, let's go get some food. I bet you didn't eat while you were researching."

Oh. He hadn't. Techno gently eased his leg out from under Steve's head, trying not to disturb him, and let Phil help him up.

_Dadza! - aww sweet - E - soft - aw, Phil - that's cute - Dadza pog,_ the voices whispered.

"Thanks, Phil," Techno told him. And he meant it for a lot more than just the hand up.

"Of course, mate. Any time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, our beloved English major; what else is there to do when confronted with an issue like this but go to the library?


End file.
